July 23rd, 2005

Exposure VS. Blame

I was reminded by a gentle Hawaiian healer that I can do the right thing, bring attention to the dysfunctional practices of the training, without buying into any battle, internal or external. Caring about truth is enough. By keeping compassion in my heart, exposure need not contain blame or judgment. It is an attempt at co-creation.

There is much confusion between exposure and blame. Many times they are equated, but they are not the same; blame is being a victim and rides on wounding, exposure is exposure. Blame is unhealed anger, period. I know, I’ve been there.

Exposure is asking for the resolution of a problem. Trainers have said that any criticism of the training is blame, retaliation, revenge, entitlement or a wounded inner child, and want people to walk away quietly. This allows trainers to stay in denial about what ex-members are pointing to.

The concept of ‘attack’ is a disguised form of blame. It allows you to say it’s not your fault. A chronic victim will blame others to avoid change and accountability, allowing them to continue to do what they do. Their lives are one battle after another, one rationalized defense after another, because someone is always doing something to them.

To hold feedback at bay only builds it up. The Lessons in Awareness site is the result of this build up.

Exposure will continue, without blame.